Here’s the situation.
My dad gets a call saying that I need to call Koodo in order to approve a new line on my account.

So tried calling Koodo.

Automated system told  me I’d get a text to start scheduling a callback.

I received no such text.

I called again, pressing 0 repeatedly to skip the automated system.

Automated system told me to go online and then hung up on me.

So I go online. And I try to use the Koodo Assist, because that’s the only option. On top of it not being able to recognize a phone number unless it is entered one specific way, it was entirely incapable of assisting me. So after requesting to speak to a human, it starts to schedule a callback for me. And even though it is over 3 hours from the time the customer service time closes, the earliest I could get a callback was tomorrow afternoon.

I tried every trick I knew to get a person on the other end, but I was foiled at every angle by this utterly, ridiculously, stupid bot and automated system. So a friend of mine who (previously) worked at Koodo let me in on one new trick. Tell the Koodo Assist you want to cancel your account. It will schedule a callback for you. And you’ll be speaking to a human in under 15 minutes.

The bot is so stupid. So gaawdumbed stupid. What happened, Koodo? Your service was never great, but this? You think that cutting out the humans will save you money in the long run? Because I’ve got news for you: When I get my callback, I give it 50/50 on whether I actually cancel the account or try and figure out why my account was on hold.

This system is as broken and dysfunctional as Cyberpunk 2077 when it first came out.
Fix it, or go back to the old system.

P.S

Whoever programmed your bot should be fired from writing/maintaining it. I’ve written better dialogue trees in my sleep. Consider hiring someone who GM’s D&D or writes choose your own adventure stories, for your bot. Because this is pathetic.